Who am I? Am I just another woman walking the Earth???? Or am I just a woman full of flaws/imperfections? Am I just a woman without purpose?For years, I suffered with low self-esteem. I internalized my external flaws. I literally took what I saw in the mirror, good & bad, and allowed it to shape my thoughts about who I am and what others thought about me. As I began a closer walk with God, I started to recognize that my self-esteem was an area that needed extreme help. I would go around saying what “thus says the Lord” in regards to everything in my life. It was with those confessions I thought I had dealt with the low self-esteem until recently.
I was attending an event as a mentor in which we had to do an exercise. The Founder/CEO of the event pulled up a PowerPoint that read “I love myself because I am….” She instructed us to write down 3 things we loved about ourselves. And that’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks! I glanced to the left/right and other women/young girls were writing away. What’s wrong with me, I thought. Why can’t I think of at least 1 thing to write down for this exercise? I tried with all that was within me not to cry. A few minutes later, the Founder asked if anybody wanted to share. One young girl, maybe 8, got up & said “I love myself because I am MYSELF!” That statement was powerful & spoke volumes to me. Next, a woman stood and said “I have to admit that I’m not there yet but I love myself because I am beautiful!” She then proceeded to give her testimony of getting dressed, even putting on make-up, in the dark so she didn’t have to look at herself in the mirror. Oh my goodness…now that, that testimony touched me in ways I can’t explain.
I prayed & asked God to show me “ME” through His eyes. It was during that time I realized I was suffering. And because I was suffering, I was missing out on so much in life by holding on to flaws/imperfections. As God began to deal with me about my self-esteem, He showed me that I am loved because what’s on the inside coming out rather than what’s shown on the outside. My husband, kids, family & friend loved me for “ME”, flaws & all.
Although my self-esteem is getting higher & growing stronger, there are days I struggle and it seems like the enemy puts a magnifying glass on my imperfections. However, it is during those times that I stand in the mirror, point out one thing, & thank God for it. Giving God glory is one sure way to make the enemy back up.
So the answer to the questions at the beginning of the post is NO! I’m not “just” anything. I AM a beautiful woman of God. I AM amazing. I AM somebody that was specifically placed/called by God with a purpose. I AM EVERYTHING the Word of God calls me. I AM a woman that has something special to offer the world & it’s more than eyes can see.
Until the next post…..Do something ForHisGlory!